Tag Archives: society

This bleep exploitive bleep bleep

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Yup I just censored myself. Censorship is bad. Maybe not. I spend a large portion of my day perusing the internet which has led to an eye twitch. Now I could just stop looking, stop reading, stop picking up my smart phone every time it buzzes but then I could not tell all of you that I think you are bleep exploitive bleep bleep. Okay I don’t mean that I digress.

Hey Facebook enough with the fake child abuse photos, your like or not liking of a little blue baby will not end child abuse. All you are doing is sharing horrid fake images of small children. My feed was once littered with cute kittens and silly captions. Complaints about Mondays and woe is me I have a hang over status updates. Now it is filled with little blue babies and bloodied children.

Yes I know I can block you or hide your feed but I did actually have to look at it in the first place.

No one should quote or share anything Ted Nugent says or does. Don’t even share his music. He was in the Damn Yankees for crying out loud. Do you remember the song High Enough? Well you shouldn’t it is awful and if you do shh do not tell anyone. Super group my ass.

If you are going to blame, shame, or besmirch the President of the United States maybe actually investigate the meme you are sharing. Hold back that anger some, make sure he is the culprit. I know everything you see on the internet is true. No really it is not. This goes for anyone really.

And by God do not mock the dead doing it. It is distasteful. I don’t care if they smoked crack or liked Quaaludes while they were living. Most likely they are survived by someone. That someone gets to see their loved one who is DEAD, ridiculed and shamed. I would smash my daughters iPhone if I saw her sharing this garbage. I would feel like I failed as a parent. Empathy look it up, never mind I will do it for you.

Empathy: Ability to imagine oneself in another’s place and understand the other’s feelings, desires, ideas, and actions.

The government did not make up Sandy Hook as a grand conspiracy to take your guns. They did not. Children really died. Stop being an bleep exploitive bleep bleep.

I appreciate your desire to share your views on the evils of vaccinations, circumcisions, laboring in hospitals on your back without a doula, disposable diapers, formula, and I am sure this list could go on. Do it, share, spread the word. But remember opinions are like assholes…….

We can agree to disagree. Spouting at me that I mutilated my child will not grow his foreskin back.

If you are angry about the government giving out handouts. I suggest your next vacation be in the city of Flint Michigan. Actually better yet buy one of the many abandoned homes there.

Take your guns and shove them up your bleep. When the government implants chips in all of us and steals all of our freedoms you can say I told you so. Until then shut the bleep up. Write a letter to congress, go visit your state capital. FYI they are not reading your Facebook feed. I am. I want the bleep cute kittens back.

Please continue to do and post this bleep, it is hilarious….http://www.buzzfeed.com/bennyjohnson/23-pieces-of-advice-for-moms-taking-a-selfie

Except number 21 I think that warrants a call to child protective services.

You can block this from your feed. You can unfollow my blog if I offend. Sure my over inflated ego will notice and I will spend hours asking why wasn’t I good enough. Maybe I should have worded it all differently. But eventually I will get distracted most likely by cute kittens and forget.

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2012 F U!!!!

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2012 was the year I almost lost my faith in humanity………

With the 2012 Presidential election I discovered that a huge portion of the population is insane not to mention racist, sexist, bigoted, and just plain hateful.

2012 was also the year my love for tasty plain only one pickle having chicken sandwiches died a horrible hateful death. Thanks a lot Chik Fil-A.

2012 was the year I learned as women we haven’t come as far as we thought.

2012 is also the year where unspeakable violence took the lives of 26 people of which 20 were children. The devastation at Sandy Hook will forever be ingrained in my memory. I’m hopeful that we as Americans, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters can put aside irrational fears of government conspiracies and take a real look at gun control and the way we treat/care for the mentally ill.

2012 was also the year of Gangnam Style which I still don’t get. Kanye West knocked up a Kardashian WTF? Mid-drifts made a comeback. Another WTF I’ve had 6 kids I need long shirts. The Cowboy’s disappointed me again. Hurricane Sandy annihilated New Jersey. Speaking of New Jersey Snookie still has a reality show. Which also brings me to the cult phenomenon of Honey Boo Boo. Proof there may not be a God. Yes I said it, please don’t smite me.

On a personal note 2012 is the year I gave birth to my only son cue Lynyard Sknyrd’s Simple Man. It was also the moment I nearly lost my life. Since then I have reflected greatly on things. I have no resolutions. But I do plan on living and loving life much harder. A little less Facebook and more real life interactions. A little less iPhone and more sex with my husband. Actually lots of sex with my husband. And maybe a little more cleaning here and there. Oh and I’ll talk to them kids I have running around here.

I’ll also no longer just say okay. Okay sucks. I want better than okay. This year I’m not going to be so mediocre. Well shit those sounded a lot like resolutions.

Normally I end the year with Doris Day but this year you get The Smashing Pumpkins

Crazy Bitch Syndrome

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Have you heard of this disease, CBS. No not the broadcast station but Crazy Bitch Syndrome. It usually affects women known to cluster in groups or packs. They display hostility, cattiness, envy, jealousy, and a serious megalomaniacal complex.

Generally they hide this behavior, whispering behind closed doors. Till eventually the bitchiness just explodes from them. Often they will have “followers” these are women with mild cases of CBS.

Currently I am working on a vaccine to prevent CBS. Hopefully others will join in on my cause to rid the world of CBS. 1 out of every 3 women have been afflicted with CBS or been victims of women with CBS.

There appears to be very few things that curb the symptoms of this disease. Some women respond well to alcohol, sedatives, and chocolate. For others there really is no hope.

Do not attempt to reason with a carrier of CBS, this will result in a massive headache. Encountering a woman with CBS can leave you feeling hostile, angry, and exhausted. If you encounter any women with the above symptoms, Do not engage. I repeat Do not engage. You too may fall victim to CBS.

Please spread the word and join the fight against CBS!

Blog Series: Endings

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Divorce is difficult. Learning to live after divorce is even harder. A letter from anonymous……

Dear Sir,
I know we shared a life and share children but I feel more estranged from you than ever before. You would think such great bonds would elicit some feeling. But bonds can be broken, bonds can wear and break over time. Even bonds sealed with blood and flesh, with human beings.

When I walked away I never asked for anything except responsibility of these human beings we created. I never pointed a finger or placed blame for our demise. I quietly tucked away all my anger, put my resentment on a shelf. I was done no reason to harbor ill will. We have these little humans to think of, anger would only get in the way. And I made a promise to myself that I would never let our inability to continue on adversely affect our little humans.

The years passed and we moved on with our lives. We created new bonds and new families.You had a rough road and I sympathized. For I harbored no ill will. I secretly wanted you to succeed to be more than you had been.

I watched you make mistakes, stood on the sidelines, offered my ear, and shoulder. More than most in my position ever would. Never once did I say I told you so or maybe you shouldn’t do that.

When the same mistakes were made I even tried to help pick you up off the ground. Again more than any one in my position would do.

But today I feel angry. I feel resentful, all those feelings have come off that shelf. Having another child when you can not afford the ones you already created was foolish. But I will not begrudge you for that. When that child’s mother takes you for a ride and that ride cost you more than you can handle bummer. But robbing from Peter to pay Paul is wrong. Especially when Paul is getting more than half of what Peter or in this cause plural gets well that is just down right uncool. Are our children somehow less equal. Is it fair to take from them to pay for your choices?

Do I care what is fair to you well that’s not my job. I am responsible to those little humans we created. Do I need your money, no. But they need to know they were not some how less than your other child. That they were not where you decided to cut cost, or time, or energy. That when sacrifices had to be made, they were not the sacrifice.

I reigned in my feelings when you fell of that wagon for the millionth time. Though I can’t reign in the memories the little humans will have from it. I am angry that they expect less from you. I am angry that they chalk it up to dad just being dad. That they feel that they have to protect you. You should be their protector. Do you find that tragic? Because I do.

I once felt empathy and sorrow for you. I believed you were broken and broken things could be fixed. I am no longer sure of this.

What ever happened to culpability, personal responsibility. I see it every day every where and it angers me. You make choices, those choices affect people’s lives. No one did anything to you, all was done by you. Saying sorry doesn’t negate that, it doesn’t some how mean all is erased. Actions speak volumes.

I refuse to let your choices inflict any more harm. I refuse to passively accept your failings. To accept that this is the “normal” from you.

This is where my door closes to you. I am done making things easy for you. Maybe that is where I went wrong. That I have to live with, my mistakes, the choices I made.

Sincerely,

Done……

 

Please submit stories to outlaw_momo@hotmail.com

Life in memes

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Life in memes

I spent a good portion of my life feeling superior to others. I was a pretty staunch atheist. With the view that religion was for sheep, the uninformed, the misguided. Just a tool to control and conform people. I believed in myself and basic human nature.

As the years passed my views on religion softened particularly Christianity. I eventually found myself believing in something greater than me. Now this blog is not about God who I so happen to believe in. And thank goodness he forgives me for my sins because man am I a sinner. Nor is about any one group of people. For me humans every single one of them deserve the same basic rights and freedoms.

This blog is about social media. Every day I log into Facebook, Instagram, hell the Internet in general and I am bombarded by memes. Funny pictures with oh so clever captions. But they are not so funny. Most of them are hateful rhetoric disguised as humor. I’m not a fan of real issues being turned into wonka-isms or someecards. Where massive amounts of people hit like from behind the imaginary safe wall of the world-wide web. The one place where you can be a complete asshole with no repercussions except maybe some dude you barely knew in high school un-friending you.

I get it you feel outraged, you want to share your outrage, and then go back to drinking your Starbucks searching for your next potential outrage.

I especially loathe political memes followed by countless opinions based on no facts and then the eventual, “well that’s why I don’t vote.” Call me an asshole but if you don’t exercise your right to vote, if you do not do your civic duties, you do not get to form an opinion that you force upon the rest of us. I’m not sure what is going on with the world, are children still forced to take government in high school? Maybe a civics lesson should be required with a voters registration card? Maybe we should know what a socialist is before we call someone that? Hey I find Fox news highly entertaining doesn’t mean I base my opinions on the misguided musings of Bill O’Reilly.

Religion controversial? Really? Duh. Attacks on religion nothing new. Religion has been the cause of great conflicts and will continue to do so until man is wiped off the planet by the resurrection of dinosaurs or the eventual zombie apocalypse.

Here’s an interesting idea not all thoughts are meant to be shared.

Sure I could read a book or find a real hobby to avoid all the cleverness. But I too find entertainment in knowing what a casual acquaintance had for breakfast or that their ac went out. I just find myself bummed these days by all the hate. I find myself missing the good ole days when people talked shit behind each others back. Now that is being polite.

Willy Wonka shouldn’t be used for hate mongering. Willy Wonka is for the music makers and the dreamers of dreams. The only memes I want to see are clever statements about binge drinking and bad relationships. Because waking up in a pool of vomit on the kitchen floor from too much box wine is hilarious.

Maybe I am officially too old for the Internet.

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