Tag Archives: politics

Video Killed the Radio Star

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Recently we purchased a new used Dodge Caravan with the intention that my butt gets driving finally. And of course like all things used it has its quirks. One of these quirks is the radio will only play AM. Now of course Matt’s car goes kaput right when we purchase said caravan. So he has been driving the minivan, that will only play AM.

Now if you do not listen to AM radio it is mostly talk radio and Tejano music. Most of that talk radio is very far right, off the map, and or just plain crazy.

Now if you know Matt he is very impressionable. Like for instance we can not watch Sons of Anarchy together because 30 minutes in he wants to join a biker gang. Sister Wive’s maybe we should give polygamy a go. Honey Boo Boo results in a in-depth conversation on extreme coupon-ing and pageantry. That often ends with him calling me a snob yada yada yada. You get the drift.

Yesterday my husband discovered Alex Jones and his infowars.com. I received repeated phone calls from my husband urging me to visit said site. Lunacy about moving to the country, buying food packs, water filtration systems, and Alien Workshop decks.

He wants to buy bumper stickers and pass out cards. Spread the word. Yes please smack one on the Yaris right next to our Obama bumper sticker.

I refused to look at the site till he came home and forced me to. Which I was like great I am on some watch list, now the government is keeping track of my cloth diapering and etsy addiction. This bitch is dangerous she just bought 4 pairs of longies, 22 pockets, and pee pee covers all in skull prints.

I suggest you go look at infowars.com, bahaha these lunatics are your neighbors. Yes I am judging though I may purchase the NWO playing cards and the offensive Barack Obama shirt for shits and giggles.

It has all kinds of useful information, did you know that the more television your children watch the more likely they will grow into sociopaths. Tuna still has traces of radiation in it and they put peanuts in vaccines resulting in more peanut allergies. It is an epidemic! We actually have genes in our bodies that are set to self destruct when we reach a certain age.

Bahaha haha haha

I am buying a stereo this week…….

 

This bleep exploitive bleep bleep

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Yup I just censored myself. Censorship is bad. Maybe not. I spend a large portion of my day perusing the internet which has led to an eye twitch. Now I could just stop looking, stop reading, stop picking up my smart phone every time it buzzes but then I could not tell all of you that I think you are bleep exploitive bleep bleep. Okay I don’t mean that I digress.

Hey Facebook enough with the fake child abuse photos, your like or not liking of a little blue baby will not end child abuse. All you are doing is sharing horrid fake images of small children. My feed was once littered with cute kittens and silly captions. Complaints about Mondays and woe is me I have a hang over status updates. Now it is filled with little blue babies and bloodied children.

Yes I know I can block you or hide your feed but I did actually have to look at it in the first place.

No one should quote or share anything Ted Nugent says or does. Don’t even share his music. He was in the Damn Yankees for crying out loud. Do you remember the song High Enough? Well you shouldn’t it is awful and if you do shh do not tell anyone. Super group my ass.

If you are going to blame, shame, or besmirch the President of the United States maybe actually investigate the meme you are sharing. Hold back that anger some, make sure he is the culprit. I know everything you see on the internet is true. No really it is not. This goes for anyone really.

And by God do not mock the dead doing it. It is distasteful. I don’t care if they smoked crack or liked Quaaludes while they were living. Most likely they are survived by someone. That someone gets to see their loved one who is DEAD, ridiculed and shamed. I would smash my daughters iPhone if I saw her sharing this garbage. I would feel like I failed as a parent. Empathy look it up, never mind I will do it for you.

Empathy: Ability to imagine oneself in another’s place and understand the other’s feelings, desires, ideas, and actions.

The government did not make up Sandy Hook as a grand conspiracy to take your guns. They did not. Children really died. Stop being an bleep exploitive bleep bleep.

I appreciate your desire to share your views on the evils of vaccinations, circumcisions, laboring in hospitals on your back without a doula, disposable diapers, formula, and I am sure this list could go on. Do it, share, spread the word. But remember opinions are like assholes…….

We can agree to disagree. Spouting at me that I mutilated my child will not grow his foreskin back.

If you are angry about the government giving out handouts. I suggest your next vacation be in the city of Flint Michigan. Actually better yet buy one of the many abandoned homes there.

Take your guns and shove them up your bleep. When the government implants chips in all of us and steals all of our freedoms you can say I told you so. Until then shut the bleep up. Write a letter to congress, go visit your state capital. FYI they are not reading your Facebook feed. I am. I want the bleep cute kittens back.

Please continue to do and post this bleep, it is hilarious….http://www.buzzfeed.com/bennyjohnson/23-pieces-of-advice-for-moms-taking-a-selfie

Except number 21 I think that warrants a call to child protective services.

You can block this from your feed. You can unfollow my blog if I offend. Sure my over inflated ego will notice and I will spend hours asking why wasn’t I good enough. Maybe I should have worded it all differently. But eventually I will get distracted most likely by cute kittens and forget.

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2012 F U!!!!

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2012 was the year I almost lost my faith in humanity………

With the 2012 Presidential election I discovered that a huge portion of the population is insane not to mention racist, sexist, bigoted, and just plain hateful.

2012 was also the year my love for tasty plain only one pickle having chicken sandwiches died a horrible hateful death. Thanks a lot Chik Fil-A.

2012 was the year I learned as women we haven’t come as far as we thought.

2012 is also the year where unspeakable violence took the lives of 26 people of which 20 were children. The devastation at Sandy Hook will forever be ingrained in my memory. I’m hopeful that we as Americans, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters can put aside irrational fears of government conspiracies and take a real look at gun control and the way we treat/care for the mentally ill.

2012 was also the year of Gangnam Style which I still don’t get. Kanye West knocked up a Kardashian WTF? Mid-drifts made a comeback. Another WTF I’ve had 6 kids I need long shirts. The Cowboy’s disappointed me again. Hurricane Sandy annihilated New Jersey. Speaking of New Jersey Snookie still has a reality show. Which also brings me to the cult phenomenon of Honey Boo Boo. Proof there may not be a God. Yes I said it, please don’t smite me.

On a personal note 2012 is the year I gave birth to my only son cue Lynyard Sknyrd’s Simple Man. It was also the moment I nearly lost my life. Since then I have reflected greatly on things. I have no resolutions. But I do plan on living and loving life much harder. A little less Facebook and more real life interactions. A little less iPhone and more sex with my husband. Actually lots of sex with my husband. And maybe a little more cleaning here and there. Oh and I’ll talk to them kids I have running around here.

I’ll also no longer just say okay. Okay sucks. I want better than okay. This year I’m not going to be so mediocre. Well shit those sounded a lot like resolutions.

Normally I end the year with Doris Day but this year you get The Smashing Pumpkins

Crazy Bitch Syndrome

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Have you heard of this disease, CBS. No not the broadcast station but Crazy Bitch Syndrome. It usually affects women known to cluster in groups or packs. They display hostility, cattiness, envy, jealousy, and a serious megalomaniacal complex.

Generally they hide this behavior, whispering behind closed doors. Till eventually the bitchiness just explodes from them. Often they will have “followers” these are women with mild cases of CBS.

Currently I am working on a vaccine to prevent CBS. Hopefully others will join in on my cause to rid the world of CBS. 1 out of every 3 women have been afflicted with CBS or been victims of women with CBS.

There appears to be very few things that curb the symptoms of this disease. Some women respond well to alcohol, sedatives, and chocolate. For others there really is no hope.

Do not attempt to reason with a carrier of CBS, this will result in a massive headache. Encountering a woman with CBS can leave you feeling hostile, angry, and exhausted. If you encounter any women with the above symptoms, Do not engage. I repeat Do not engage. You too may fall victim to CBS.

Please spread the word and join the fight against CBS!

Screw the birth certificate did anyone record that s#*t

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“I dont trust a man from a descendent of another country, sorry he shouldn’t have been in office in the first place”

 
That’s me quoting some douche bag off the increasingly painful social media site Facebook. You know the site we all hate but can’t stop looking at. I have my own paranoid theories on why. Back on topic. Let’s call a spade a spade. Natural born citizen banter is really thinly veiled racism. Yup I said it. Besides the fact you are a citizen of the United States regardless of one’s parental origins if you are born here. Would the conversation be different if our President’s father hailed from say some place maybe in Europe, a more “friendly” country like say Sweden? Maybe a less colorful nation? Maybe if he had stuck with the name “Barry” instead of his very “scary(Muslim) sounding name” everything would be moot. Barry is more vanilla than Mitt okay maybe not. “But at least Mitt believes in God.”

Yes another douche bag quote totally different one this time. Heaven forbid a young man having been raised by his single mother would want to maybe hold onto a piece of his father. I mean what does a father pass on to his son. His daddy did give him a name. Cue Everclear. And let’s talk about this father who bailed and was absent his entire life. Who also was a Catholic who became an atheist. Because well God probably frowns upon marrying a woman while married to another woman. Yup papa was a rolling stone. He liked the ladies Caucasian, African, Catholic, Jewish he didn’t discriminate. Maybe that one time when Mr. President was 10 and he visited his father he was secretly brainwashed. A terrorist plot was formed.

Okay Mr. President was raised in Hawaii and that really isn’t a state right? Raised by his very American white bread family who hailed from Wichita. Have you heard Wichita has had a secret agenda to infiltrate the highest level of government they finally succeeded with “Barry” healthcare for all. Damn socialist oh wait since healthcare is the second largest industry in Wichita they probably want to keep that shit private. Damn there goes that theory. Maybe we should be looking at his mother she did live in Indonesia maybe it is all some sort of communist plot to steal our democracy.

Look I totally respect disagreeing with one’s politics and agendas. To each their own it’s what makes this nation great. Freedom of speech and free will. What bothers me is paranoid “birther” theories, anti religious rhetoric, and wild accusations not based on any sort of concrete fact. Actually it pisses me off causing me to write crazy rants on my iPhone at 1:48 am. When I should be resting. Anger can break a 102 degree fever right? Oh and like everyone else I don’t need your comments I’ll just ignore them because there really is no such thing as sharing and learning from each other. I won’t even read them I’ll just randomly scan them pick out the points I really disagree with and continue on spouting my own opinions. Because well I am right.

On a side note if you can’t comprehend sarcasm really don’t comment. Spare us all. Okay just really me.

This will be my one and only political rant from now until November. Back to talking about the things I enjoy like my husband, babies, and crappy diapers.

Life in memes

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Life in memes

I spent a good portion of my life feeling superior to others. I was a pretty staunch atheist. With the view that religion was for sheep, the uninformed, the misguided. Just a tool to control and conform people. I believed in myself and basic human nature.

As the years passed my views on religion softened particularly Christianity. I eventually found myself believing in something greater than me. Now this blog is not about God who I so happen to believe in. And thank goodness he forgives me for my sins because man am I a sinner. Nor is about any one group of people. For me humans every single one of them deserve the same basic rights and freedoms.

This blog is about social media. Every day I log into Facebook, Instagram, hell the Internet in general and I am bombarded by memes. Funny pictures with oh so clever captions. But they are not so funny. Most of them are hateful rhetoric disguised as humor. I’m not a fan of real issues being turned into wonka-isms or someecards. Where massive amounts of people hit like from behind the imaginary safe wall of the world-wide web. The one place where you can be a complete asshole with no repercussions except maybe some dude you barely knew in high school un-friending you.

I get it you feel outraged, you want to share your outrage, and then go back to drinking your Starbucks searching for your next potential outrage.

I especially loathe political memes followed by countless opinions based on no facts and then the eventual, “well that’s why I don’t vote.” Call me an asshole but if you don’t exercise your right to vote, if you do not do your civic duties, you do not get to form an opinion that you force upon the rest of us. I’m not sure what is going on with the world, are children still forced to take government in high school? Maybe a civics lesson should be required with a voters registration card? Maybe we should know what a socialist is before we call someone that? Hey I find Fox news highly entertaining doesn’t mean I base my opinions on the misguided musings of Bill O’Reilly.

Religion controversial? Really? Duh. Attacks on religion nothing new. Religion has been the cause of great conflicts and will continue to do so until man is wiped off the planet by the resurrection of dinosaurs or the eventual zombie apocalypse.

Here’s an interesting idea not all thoughts are meant to be shared.

Sure I could read a book or find a real hobby to avoid all the cleverness. But I too find entertainment in knowing what a casual acquaintance had for breakfast or that their ac went out. I just find myself bummed these days by all the hate. I find myself missing the good ole days when people talked shit behind each others back. Now that is being polite.

Willy Wonka shouldn’t be used for hate mongering. Willy Wonka is for the music makers and the dreamers of dreams. The only memes I want to see are clever statements about binge drinking and bad relationships. Because waking up in a pool of vomit on the kitchen floor from too much box wine is hilarious.

Maybe I am officially too old for the Internet.

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